My fine Italian

Is it happening? Am I actually writing about my hilarious dating dabbles?
I think so. Help. (Genuinely please, I am awkward and useless at this)

You guys.

I’ve recently dipped my toe in the dangerous waters of dating, with none other than a beautiful Italian man. Seriously, beautiful doesn’t even cut it. An honest, predominantly vegetarian, funny, intelligent, well travelled, upfront, tall, dark (unbelievably) handsome Italian man, who I couldn’t really fault (no one’s perfect) but no big red flags are out.

So naturally I have very little romantic interest in him.
Maybe because he’s 34 and I feel a little odd about that. I’m not one to be wary of age gaps (I once dated a guy my own age and that lasted approx 3 weeks because we just were not on the same wave. Being 17 and me being massively dramatic *probably* did not help.)
34 is 11 years older than me. It’s not that it bothers me, I mean, he’s older than both my siblings but again, meh. Nearly all the women in my family have gone for older men, and I was brought up in mainly adult company. My siblings are both 7+ years older than me and I’ve kind of had to do a lot of very quick growing up at times in my life, so I do feel a wee bit older than what I am. Anyway, back to Mario* (his name), he ticks all of my boxes, he is a genuine pleasure to be around. I really like the way he pronounces words, when he can’t think of a word in English and spiels off in Italian? Staaahppp.
On paper we should really be pretty great. In reality, I feel like I’m trying really hard to force a connection. I’m definitely(until I talk myself out of our next date) going to carry on seeing him until I’m sure that I’m not self sabotaging and actually just don’t have feelings for dreamy Italian.
I know he travels a lot for work, and he’s lived and worked in more countries than you could imagine, his background is seriously impressive and he genuinely loves what he does. I think maybe I’m holding off because he could also, at the drop of a hat, move again. And I know I’m a hypocrite because I’ve done that 4 times, 3/4 times leaving a man behind those doors of an airport. Gulp.
I don’t know. There’s no reason for this. I’ve been on dates fractionally as successful and had the absolute flutters, just not this time?
Even I know, I’m in luck here. He is so open and honest, upfront, doesn’t keep me hanging, I know exactly where I stand, which are qualities I really want in a prospective partner. There’s no bad feelings, it’s not like a person who is too keen which would make me shudder, there’s just nothing. Nothing telling me to run, but nothing telling me to run after him either.

I’m also kind of a stranger to this dating thing, actual consistent dates, it’s new to me. Maybe if there’s nothing there I should just leave it, probably stay friends because we get on like a house on fire. Who knows? (If you know, please help me.)

Until next time, and as ever, clear skies are pretty much here, cloudy mind is definitely here.

*Names have been changed.